


Jetrel: Redux

by ZeusParker



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Gen, Inspired By SF Debris, Retcon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-09
Updated: 2016-02-09
Packaged: 2018-05-19 09:01:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,247
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5961691
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZeusParker/pseuds/ZeusParker
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Season 1 episode Jetrel hinted at the idea that Neelix was a conscientious objector to his people's war with the Haakonians, and that the titular Jetrel's people had used their WMD out of desperation. Sadly, this interesting idea was abandoned in favor of making Jetrel a caricature of a war criminal w/ guilt, and Neelix a deserter. But what if the episode had gone another way?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Jetrel: Redux

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Opinionated Voyager Review: Jetrel](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/175036) by SF Debris. 



> Author's Note: This story is actually in canon with my in progress, much longer Voyager fic titled "A Fire Of Devotion," but that story is more Seven of Nine focused than this one (obviously, since Jetrel was in Season 1). While the episode I am re-writing (and condensing) had some good ideas in it, they just didn't go the right way with it IMHO, falling into that trap that Voyager (and very early TNG and Enterprise for that matter) all too often falls into; taking a firm stance on a complex moral issue, then browbeating the audience into agreeing with it. This can be aggravating, even when I happen to share that view myself. Being talked down to by an opponent on an issue is annoying. Being talked down to by an ally? Downright insulting. Anyway, partial credit for this re-write/condensing belong to Internet Reviewer SF Debris, whose review of the episode was the main inspiration for the changes I made to the original episode as well as Neelix's backstory.
> 
> And yes, I did use some of his lines. This is to be expected though as his show is largely responsible for both "Jetrel: Redux" and "A Fire of Devotion" (though only in a roundabout fashion in the case of the latter). Hopefully he won't be too mad.
> 
> As for why I felt these changes to Neelix's backstory needed to be highlighted so much, well, you'll see why when Part 4 of "A Fire of Devotion" comes out. ;)

**Jetrel: Redux**

By Zeus Parker

Based on the _Star Trek Voyager_ episode "Jetrel"

Original Teleplay By Jack Klein & Karen Klein and Kenneth Biller

Original Story By James Thornton & Scott Nimerfro

**The year 2356...**

"Doctor, I'm sorry to say that the Talaxians have rejected our proposed ceasefire. Their government simply does not believe we have the metreon cascade weapon. In their place, I have to admit I'd likely feel the same. We have to use it. I'm afraid we have no other choice," the Haakonian officer standing across from Ma'Bor Jetrel said.

"But we don't know what side effects the metreon cascade will have. And the target you want to set it off on isn't a military target! We can't-"

"Doctor, the Talaxians started this war. They are winning this war. We need to send a message that we are willing to do whatever it takes to win this war. This is about our survival. I don't like the idea of using experimental weapons on civilian targets either, but at least their moon of Rinax is lightly populated compared to any of their colonies, or Talax itself."

"At least you'll use the right phrase Commander," Jetrel said. "Most of your colleagues when they come in here use terms like 'collateral damage,' as though it's merely buildings we're talking about destroying as opposed to sentient beings. Regardless, I can't hand over my notes on the cascade. I can't be party to the deaths of civilians. Promise me you'll save the weapon I developed for a military target, then maybe-"

"We considered that Doctor. Do you really think so little of your own military? The Talaxian bases are spread too thin. We only have enough resources right now to use this weapon once. Even if it succeeds we won't do enough damage to halt their advance. Projections have them reaching our homeworld in a matter of months, if not weeks. Is your conscience really worth putting our entire race at risk?"

"So, why not test the weapon on a barren planet within range of Talaxian long range sensors?" Jetrel said, getting closer and closer to losing his composure. "Maybe them knowing for sure we have made the weapon like we said will make them think twice about continuing. And what about the anti-war movement among the Talaxians themselves?"

"They are certainly a vocal group," the Commander said, his level tone never changing as he spoke. "Some have even taken to acts of terrorism to try and pressure their government into withdrawing, but their tactics only serve to undermine the cause. And even if their fringe wasn't a problem, their lack of numbers surely is. Most deserters from their military draft have simply fled Talaxian space altogether, selling their services to the Kazon, or any other race that will take them along. I can count on one hand the number of out and out defectors, and the Haakonian Order won't put them on the front lines out of fear they may be spies. Between you, me, and your books Doctor I think that's all standard military paranoia, but I can't entirely blame them given how things have been the past ten years."

Jetrel began pacing his office, trying to come up with another counterargument, something to convince the military man before him not to use the weapon of mass destruction he helped invent. Instead he found himself just repeating arguments he'd made before, only louder. "Civilians, Commander! You want to use my weapon on a civilian population! Throughout this entire war we've taken great pains to avoid civilian casualties, even after all the ones the Talaxians inflicted on us!"

"And what has that consideration got us Doctor?!" the Commander said, raising his voice for the first time since coming to Jetrel's office.

"If my calculations are wrong we won't just destroy their moon colony Commander, we'll poison the whole moon for hundreds of years. An antimatter weapon could do that much damage, but still leave room for them re-colonizing it in a relatively short amount of time."

"And if we weren't using all our antimatter weapons to fend off their space fleet that would be a great idea Doctor, but the order doesn't believe we can afford to spare a single torpedo."

"How could they possibly know that?"

"Because I know you well enough that I told them you'd try to make that case before I even came over here. I know you better than anyone except your wife Ma'Bor. That's why it's me who is here right now, and not some grunt who would've likely shot you and taken your notes back to headquarters in his pockets by now."

"I suppose I should be grateful for that?"

"I certainly think so."

"I suppose I should also be grateful that the Order lied to me about the results of the men accidentally exposed to the cascade during an early test," Jetrel said, inwardly wishing he'd thought to use this information sooner. If the Commander was flustered by the news that Jetrel knew something he shouldn't have, he didn't show it.

"I won't ask who told you about that, because I would have to turn them in. And during war time that could lead to a charge of treason. But yes, we agreed it was best you weren't told about the metremia."

"Destroying a moon colony filled with almost 300,000 Talaxians is bad enough, but if the cascade dissipates as slowly as our tests showed, we'd be exposing any rescue teams to-"

"Talaxian rescue teams," the Commander interrupted. "And yes, I'm aware that anyone exposed to the metreon isotopes will 'undergo fission at the atomic level, vaporizing the body through bio-molecular disintegration.' I had that part of the report you weren't supposed to see memorized. I won't pretend that what we'll do with that weapon is pretty. No sane person could. But it's an ugly necessity if we are going to win this war. If we'd been willing to be ugly years earlier, perhaps thousands of lives, on both sides, could've been spared. But it's too late for them. We need to think about the lives of those yet to come. You have a third child on the way soon, yes?"

"Yes," Jetrel said with a sigh.

"Do you want it born under Talaxian rule? And that's making the generous assumption that a conquering of our home world won't be followed by a genocide."

Jetrel didn't say anything for several minutes. He simply stared at a painting of the stars as they would be seen from his home during the later months of the year that his wife, Ka'Ree, had made for him. After taking a deep breath, and asking for forgiveness from the gods of both his people and those of the Talaxians, he opened a drawer in his desk, took out a folder and a data pad, and placed them on the desk, facing the Commander.

"We only built this weapon because we thought they were building one to use against us," Jetrel said.

"And we were wrong. But right now, the metreon cascade is our only hope. I'm glad you've realized that. I won't tell you not to lose sleep over it, that would make me a hypocrite as I imagine I will myself. But I do hope that one day you- no, both of us can forgive ourselves for what's going to happen."

"Commander, before you go, I ask of you one small favor."

"Depends on your definition of small, Doctor."

"After we use the weapon on Rinax, warn the Talaxians about the fallout, about the metreon particles. At least that way, we can contain the casualties to just that base."

"I'll take it up with the Order. I can be quite persuasive when I need to be, I'll make sure they listen to your suggestion, even if I have to hurt them to do so." The Commander saluted Doctor Jetrel as he left. Jetrel simply sat down at his desk, turned his chair around, and stared silently at the painting again, losing all track of time until his wife came to find him.

* * *

**15 years later…**

"Perhaps playing a game of pool with a Vulcan was a mistake Neelix," Tom Paris said, Harry Kim standing next to him trying not to chuckle.

"It's just some friendly competition Tom," Neelix replied. "I'm not looking to humiliate Mr. Tuvok here. Though it is rather disappointing that he appears to have left me unable to make a shot,"

"I don't think you could if you tried," Tom said.

"I'm thinkin' you should call a safety pal," one the holographic patrons said.

"A safety? What's that?" Neelix replied.

"Basically," Tom said, "it's a defensive strategy. Since you can't make a shot, you can try to get the cue ball to where Tuvok can't make a shot either."

"Hmm. Might be best if I just concede now," Neelix said, looking at the pool table intently. A safety seems rather cowardly if you ask me. I do enjoy this game though. We had games similar to this on Talax. The sticks were shorter though, and at least one ball actually had a stun grenade in it so that if you hit it it would-"

"Just take a shot already!" one of the holographic patrons yelled.

"As I believe we established earlier," Neelix said, sounding annoyed, "I don't I have one. I believe the Vulcan has won. At least I know he won't try to rub it in. I imagine the phrase 'sore winner' doesn't exist in his people's vocabulary."

"I am aware of the term, and the behavior it describes. I merely do not engage in it," Tuvok said. Neelix nodded.

"I'm a bit surprised that a logical species such as yours would engage in games at all to be honest," he said.

"As a matter of fact," Tuvok said, "games such as pool, or chess to provide another Earth example, that require strategy and thought can provide valuable mental exercise. In that sense, games can be and often are of as much value as meditation."

Neelix put his pool cue on the table, effectively conceding defeat. He opened his mouth, prepared to ask Tuvok what kind of games Vulcans had developed, when he heard Captain Janeway's voice call for him over his comm-badge.

"Mr. Neelix, we've picked up a a subspace message from an approaching ship. The pilot says he wishes to speak to our 'Talaxian passenger.' If you could come to the bridge please?"

"On my way, Captain," Neelix said, exiting the holodeck, while Tom rearranged the balls on the pool table while Harry picked up Neelix's cue. Tuvok handed his off to another patron, and followed Neelix out.

* * *

Shortly after exiting the turbolift, Tuvok took over the tactical station from the ensign who had been there while he was off-duty. Neelix went over to sit beside the Captain and Commander Chakotay.

"The alien ship is entering visual range Captain," he said.

"Whoever it was just said 'Talaxian passenger,' Captain?" Neelix said. "Not by name?"

"That's correct," Janeway said.

"Well, this is certainly interesting," Neelix said.

"Mr. Tuvok, put it on screen."

"Yes Captain."

Neelix leaned forward to see, and immediately recognized the design, painful memories of his past flooding his mind. "Haakonian," he said, sadly.

"You know this person Mr. Neelix?" Janeway said.

"Doubtful, Captain. Can we hail them?"

"Of course." Janeway stood up and straightened her uniform while Neelix tried to regain composure.

_Why would they come looking for me?_ he thought. _I was an objector to the war, I never killed any of their people, and had it been up to me-_

"This is Captain Kathryn Janeway of the Federation starship Voyager to incoming craft. Are you capable of visual communication?"

"I am, captain," a voice replied. It sounded tired, like the voice of an elderly man who was just patiently waiting for death. A second later, a face appeared on screen. Neelix recognized him immediately. A man his government had declared a war criminal. Any number of Talaxian mercenaires would've offered their services to kill this man for free.

"Are-" he started to say, but the Haakonian on board interrupted him.

"Yes, unfortunately. I am Dr. Ma'Bor Jetrel. The designer of the metreon cascade weapon." the Haakonian on screen looked down the whole time he was talking, as if he couldn't bring himself to look anyone in the eye.

"Neelix, what is he talking about?" Janeway said.

"It's, um, it's not a story I feel comfortable sharing with everyone on board Captain. The short version is that the doctor here developed a weapon of mass destruction that was used against my people 15 years ago. There were, extenuating circumstances."

"Should we raise shields?" Tuvok said.

"No!" Neelix said, standing up. "Sorry, I mean, that won't be necessary. Dr. Jetrel, my name is Neelix. It's, I'm, how may I be of service?"

"Neelix. So that's your name." Jetrel said. "You should know that while your exploits with this crew from the other side of the galaxy has gained some fame in some areas of this quadrant, not all of them get your name right. I would hope to speak with you. Aboard your ship of course. And I will submit to any security measures your Captain deems necessary."

"Neelix," Commander Chakotay said quietly, "if this man used a weapon-"

"He didn't use it personally Commander," Neelix whispered back. "I can explain later."

"Very well then," Janeway said. "we'll beam you aboard my vessel, and a security detail can escort you to my ready room."

"I'll want Neelix there as well. I will need his help. I should also mention Captain, I am dying. However, my illness is not communicable."

"Metreon poisoning?" Neelix said. "This ship had some remarkably advanced medical technology, perhaps they could-"

"Perhaps," Jetrel interrupted. "but not likely. I am in the late stages. I'm luckier than most of the people of my group. Most died within the first three years. But, that's details best described in private, for now."

"We'll see you once you're aboard Doctor," Janeway said. Once the transmission was ended, her polite smile rapidly went away. "Mr. Tuvok, arrange a security detail for our guest. Mr. Neelix, come with me."

Neelix followed her into her ready room. As soon as the door closed, Janeway turned around and crossed her arms, her face stern.

"Mr. Neelix, you said you wanted to explain the situation in private. So explain. Why is you are perfectly willing to meet with someone you said used a weapon of mass destruction on your own people?"

"I understand how this might seem confusing Captain, especially after all these weeks where I've talked at great length about how amazing my people are, our many exploits, and all of that. Well, Captain, I have a bit of a confession to make. When I talk up how wonderful the Talaxian people are, I'm talking about how they used to be. I aspire to be the kind of Talaxian that there was before we became greedy, corrupt, expansionist. Jetrel's weapon that was used against my people? Some might call it a war crime but I'll tell you what it really was. An act of desperation."

"Neelix, are you saying that your people attacked the Haakonians-"

"Without provocation? Yes. We invaded their space. Stole their colonies, bombed their civilians; it was a massacre. And while there were those who felt as I did that it was wrong, we were few in number. Those that didn't get arrested were able to go into hiding, or to seek asylum with one of the other powers in this sector. Many have never been heard from again. Dead, living with another race, or still running away, no one knows. This is why I didn't want to talk about it on the bridge Captain. I didn't want them to know that I came from a race who did such vile things that even I, a member of that race, can look at one of their moon colonies being bombed as justified." Neelix stopped and took in a deep breath. "I've never even told Kes about it, about why I was really living as I was when you met me. I was a deserter, plain and simple. I don't think for a second I was wrong to do so, but there it is. My people were at war, and I chose to run."

Janeway sat down behind her desk and took a deep breath of her own.

"Back home," she said, "we call people like you conscientious objectors. There's no shame in refusing to die for a cause you don't believe in."

"That's not where my shame comes from Captain Janeway," Neelix said, taking a seat. "The metreon cascade weapon was used on one of Talax's moons, Rinax. Almost 300,000 people were on it. All of them died, either immediately, or from metremia. We had terraformed it, but as a result of the weapon, it's still uninhabitable to this day. The Haakonians were desperate, even attempts at unconditional surrender to us were ignored. My people became like monsters to me during those years. So much so that-" Neelix stopped, tears forming in his eyes. "So much so that even though I had family on that moon, I still feel like we deserved what happened to us."

Janeway's mouth was open in shock, but she didn't say anything. Neelix couldn't blame her. He decided to continue, wanting her to know as much as possible before Jetrel was brought to them.

"My government surrendered the day after the bomb was deployed. The Haakonians were shockingly fair, given all we'd done to them. Our leaders were put on trial for war crimes, but they were sentenced to life in prison instead of death. Drafted soldiers were given blanket pardons. And yet, even today, when I run across a Talaxian at one of these outposts we come across to re-stock supplies or stop for repairs, those who weren't objectors like me talk about the past 15 years as though Talax is living under occupation. Except that's not even remotely true. Not counting the security details for the ambassadors who were at the surrender ceremony, not one Haakonian soldier ever set foot on my homeworld."

"Neelix," Janeway said, "I understand why you feel ashamed of your government. Go far enough into the past of my people and you will find atrocities that can bring history class students to tears. But, why couldn't you have told us about this? Did you think we would judge you for not fighting? Or throw you off the ship for their crimes which you took no part in?"

"You said it yourself Captain. I was ashamed. Maybe deep down I knew I couldn't keep up the lie forever, but I don't like thinking about my people the way they are now, the way they've been since my days in what your people call grade school."

"Tuvok to Janeway," Tuvok's voice said over the comm.

"Is Doctor Jetrel aboard?" Janeway said.

"Yes captain. We are on our way to you now."

"All right then. See you shortly." Janeway tapped her comm badge to end the communication. "Neelix, what exactly is metremia? You mentioned that people on Rinax contracted it, and you were able to deduce that Jetrel had it, but what exactly does it do to it's victims?"

"It causes its victims to undergo fission at the atomic level, their cells, I mean. Essentially vaporizing the body through bimolecular disintegration. That's how it was described to me, anyway. Sounds like an awfully cold way to describe how someone's gonna die."

"Perhaps," Janeway said, putting a reassuring hand on Neelix's shoulder.

* * *

"Thank you Mr. Tuvok," Jetrel said as the ship's security chief motioned towards the door he would be going through to meet the captain of this vessel, as well as the Talaxian named Neelix. When he entered, he saw Neelix and Captain Janeway speaking to each other on a large chair in the room. They both looked up at him. The Captain stood up and walked over, offering her hand. Luckily, Jetrel recognized the gesture from his conversations with people the Voyager crew had encountered in the past several month as a gesture of greeting. He offered his own as well, and they shook.  
"Captain Janeway," he said. "Thank you for allowing me to come aboard. I imagine it must be awkward to be treating a war criminal like a visiting dignitary."

"From what I hear," Janeway said, "the label of 'war criminal' seems to be up for debate."

"I do not wear the label with pride captain, but it is mine nonetheless." Jetrel looked over at Neelix. Even after what he'd seen over his viewscreen he still half expected the Talaxian to show some sign of anger at him, but he didn't If anything, Neelix looked sad.

"Doctor Jetrel," Neelix said, standing up but not stepping towards him. "If it's any consolation at all, I did not take part in the war. I was what the Captain called a conscientious objector. What my people did to you was wrong, and I abandoned my home, my family, rather than take part in it."

"Ah. That explains why it was so easy for you to accept me coming on board," Jetrel said. "Regardless, I'm glad you're willing to speak with me. I mentioned before I came aboard that I'm suffering from metremia."

"You did," Janeway said. "Neelix explained the condition to me. Sounds dreadful."

"It is, and it's sadly far too late to help me, or anyone else afflicted with it currently. Research on a cure continues, but the lack of Talaxians willing to submit to tests to aid the research has slowed things considerably. Not that I blame them of course. I doubt I'd behave much differently if the situation were reversed.

"But I'm digressing. My main point is that I was hoping to take advantage of Mr. Neelix's recent popularity. I need to travel to Rinax."

"Why?" Neelix said. "The moon is still uninhabitable. And if you go to Talaxian space the government will demand your head on a platter."

"Not if I have advocates," Jetrel said. "As I said, you are earning a reputation in this sector Neelix. It's not a large one. As I said some people don't even get your name right, but you have a degree of fame. And this ship is famous, or infamous depending on who you ask."

"Why do you want to go to Rinax?" Janeway said.

"In my research on a cure for metremia," Jetrel said, allowing excitement to enter his voice. "I think I've stumbled across a way to inoculate against it. This would allow the Talaxians to return to Rinax, even if only for short periods of time, to reclaim the remains of their people lost there, or anything else of cultural significance. I can never fully atone for what I allowed to happen, but this could go a long way in easing the pains of the war that still linger between us."

"It's a fine idea doctor," Neelix said. "But you don't have to risk your own life to do it. Just send my government the research on the inoculation, and go home to be with your family. If you're in the final stages as you say, wouldn't you rather be with them? I know I would."

"My family," Jetrel said, having to pause as the memory of his wife and oldest son carrying their boxes out of what had once been their shared home came back to him. "left me, some time ago. They couldn't handle my guilt. They repeated the same thing my government always did, that my colleagues always did. Telling me that I was a hero for creating the metreon cascade, that what was done had to be done. My wife took my children away, only the youngest of them will still send me letters from time to time."

"I'm sorry to hear that," Neelix said, sounding sincere.

"Thank you for your kind words, Mr. Neelix, but just like with the weapon I must live with the consequences of my actions."

"Explain to me," Janeway said. "Exactly why it is important that you must go to the Talaxian home system to deliver your metreon particle inoculation."

"Simple. As I said, I only think I've come across an inoculation. But I need more materials for my research. Including samples from Talaxians who have been exposed to them. Healthy Talaxians can be found just about anywhere in this sector Captain, but the sick ones, the people from the response teams who went to Rinax after the initial blast, never leave the home world. I also will want air samples from Rinax itself. For obvious reasons I can't obtain anything like that on my homeworld. The metroen particles we have that weren't used up in the bomb are tightly controlled and contained. I was hoping that the both of you could convince the Talaxian government to allow me some of those samples, so I can finish my work before I die."

Neelix sighed and shook his head. "They won't believe you, you have to know that."

Janeway raised a hand and said, "Let our doctor take a look at your research. If it's viable, perhaps we can present it to the Talaxian government without having to mention you at all."

"I appreciate the offer captain," Jetrel said, "but it's important that they know where it comes from. This is my chance to atone for what I did; for the death and destruction I caused." Jetrel turned to face Neelix. "Both our peoples need to see this. It will go a long towards ending the animosity between us, and maybe someday my children will live to see an era where the Talaxians and Haakonian Order are allies. Maybe even friends."

"An admirable goal Doctor Jetrel," Neelix said. "But misguided. My people started the war. My people pushed yours into using the weapon in the first place. And my people still blame it all on you, even though you didn't work alone on the research, even though you weren't on the ship that fired the weapon, even though you had nothing to do with the surrender process. To most of my people you're a scary story to tell around camp fires to frighten children. You come to them with this inoculation, no one will take it. They'll throw it in your face and accuse you of trying to poison them.

"I'll say it bluntly Doctor. Your family had a point."

"Neelix!" Janeway said, sounding shocked.

"You," Neelix continued, "are letting your guilt over what happened on Rinax cloud your judgement. I forgave you years ago. You did what you had to do. It was an act of desperation, even if you don't want to believe that. Go home, be with your family, and spend your last days in peace. Give your research over to this ship's doctor. He has access to medicines and medical technologies most people in this quadrant can only dream of. If anyone can finish it it'll be him. I thank you, truly and honestly, for the work you've been doing on this inoculation. It will help my people. But they will never thank you for it, I know them too well. Why do you think I've chosen to join a crew that is headed to a totally different quadrant of the galaxy?"

Jetrel was genuinely stunned. He'd met Talaxians who had opposed the war before, but none who had been so blunt as to suggest that the deploying of the weapon had been justified. It took him a moment to recover from the shock of Neelix's response.

"I see," he said. "Perhaps you're right Mr. Neelix. But I have to try. I've come too far to walk away from this now."

"Doctor," Tuvok said, "have you ever heard of the sunk cost fallacy?"

* * *

Later that day, Kes went looking for Neelix. She had heard about the guest from a race that Neelix's people had been at war at, and felt that he probably needed someone he could talk to. However, at the time on board where he would normally have returned to their quarters after finishing dinner in the mess hall, she instead had to go looking for him. After asking the computer where he was, she went where the voice told her; the mess hall. The lights were down, and she couldn't see anyone right away on first glance. After taking a second look, she saw Neelix, sitting on the floor, leaning against the counter.

"Neelix?" she said, concern in her own voice.

"Hi," was all Neelix could say. Kes slid down to the floor to sit next to him, putting her hand on his.

"Neelix, what's wrong? You know you can tell me," she said.

Neelix looked at her silently for a moment, before sighing.

"Is this about that alien who came aboard today?" Kes asked.

"Yes," Neelix admitted. He then proceeded to tell her things she'd never heard before about his life before they'd met; about the war, about the metreon cascade, about losing his family, about the reasons Doctor Jetrel was aboard, and about how the way he talked about his people were the way he only wished they were as opposed to how they actually were.

"I'm sorry I lied to you Kes," he said once he was done.

"You were ashamed of your people," she said. "I know what that feels like, you know how I felt about the way my people behaved under the Caretaker. You had to know that I would sympathize with you on this."

"Maybe I did, deep down. But I don't like talking about my people the way they are now. I mean, what does it say about them that I can sit here and feel more sympathy for the man who created a weapon of mass destruction than I do for my own home planet? I lost family on Rinax, kes. I should hate Jetrel, shouldn't I? But I can't bring myself to do it. Not now, and certainly not after seeing the pain in his eyes. He really hates himself for creating that weapon, a weapon his people wouldn't have had to use if mine hadn't pushed them."

"Does that make it right though?" Kes asked.

"It's easy to ask that question now," Neelix said. "With a decade and a half behind us. But at the time, for the Haakonian's it was a matter of survival. Is extinction preferable to doing something distasteful? I don't think it is."

Kes was sighing herself now. Her own feelings were conflicted now too. The weapon that Neelix described was truly awful, especially it's after effects. But he also had a point that were the people who made it not on the losing end of a brutal war they didn't start…

"I wish I could say something that would you make you feel better Neelix," she said.

"I appreciate that," Neelix said.

"So, did the captain decide what to do?"

"She's going along with the doctor's plan to bring the inoculation to Talax. I just hope they listen. This will go a long way towards maybe making Rinax livable again. It used to have such beautiful forests that my sister and I would play in when we were kids."

"I'm sure you can make them listen," Kes said, getting up and offering her hand to Neelix to help him stand.

"I wish I had your optimism Kes," he said.

* * *

The trip to Talax took _Voyager_ three days at maximum warp. On day two, Doctor Ma'Bor Jetrel collapsed while in sickbay, discussing the details of the metreon inoculation with the EMH. Neelix went to see him as soon as he heard.

With tears in his eyes, Jetrel looked at Neelix.

"I should've listen to you," he said. "I should've gone home. Your doctor tells me I won't make it to Talax."

"I'm sorry," Neelix said. "I know this meant a lot to you, giving your data to the Talaxian government personally."

"It's going to have to be you who gives it to them then. Just promise me you'll tell them the truth. Spin it if you must, I'll be dead, I won't care. Say you found my notes after my death if that's what it takes. This inoculation must get to your people. It's a small thing, it will never make up for what I did, but let my last act in this life be one of aid, not of death."

"Of course, Doctor," Neelix said. "I just wish you could've come to terms with your guilt towards the end. It makes me sad that you'll die still taking the weight of all those deaths on Rinax on yourself."

"We could argue all day Talaxian. At the end of the day, I created the weapon. Others fired it, others started the war, but the metreon cascade existed because of what I, I-" Jetrel began coughing violently. Neelix stepped back to let _Voyager_ 's Doctor try to help him.

"He's gone into end stage," the Doctor said. "There's nothing I can do except ease the pain. He's got minutes, at most"

"Do what you can Doctor. He may think he deserves this pain, but he really doesn't. Do what you have to to make him comfortable. I need to go talk to the captain."

"Very well. I'll let you know when-"

"Neelix?" Jetrel said, weakly, unable to open his eyes. "Make sure. Make sure they accept the inoculation."

"I will," Neelix said.

* * *

"We shouldn't leave out the fact that Jetrel was involved," Neelix said, sitting across from the captain in her ready room, Commander Chakotay in a chair next to his.

"I agree Neelix," Janeway said. "But shouldn't is not the same as can't. You said yourself how much animosity there is towards Haakonians in general, and Doctor Jetrel in particular among most of your people."

"Didn't you originally tell the doctor that he shouldn't take credit for the inoculation?" Chakotay said.

"At first yes," Neelix said. "but I was convinced that I should give my people the chance to show that they can change for the better."

"By Jetrel?" Janeway said.

"Kes, actually," Neelix said. "It's easy to forget how wise she can be sometimes."

Chakotay smiled at that. "I wasn't going to say it, but I do think you could stand to listen to her more often," he said.

"Agreed," Neelix said. "That said though, I'm at a loss for ideas how we can convince my government to accept this. Your doctor has tested it, and it certainly works the way Doctor Jetrel said it will, but the more I think about it the more I worry that the word of a Haakonian scientist, a deserter, and strangers will carry much weight with the homeworld."

"That's a valid concern," Janeway said. "If you like I could handle the delivery and just leave you out of it if you worry what the deserter label might do to your credibility."

"Not a bad idea on it's face captain," Neelix said. "but you heard what Jetrel said. People in this sector have been spreading the word about _Voyager_ and it's Talaxian guide."

"Well," Chakotay said, "this might be a stretch, but perhaps we could say we came across Jetrel's ship floating in space, and just lie about him having been alive when we found him. Tell the Talaxian government he was already dead, but that we happened to find the inoculation and research data on board and decided to deliver to Talax of our own volition."

"I like it," Neelix said. "it has just enough truth in it that we can honor Doctor Jetrel's request while increasing the chance of my people accepting the inoculation for what is."

"Okay, it's agreed then. I'll have Harry make some modifications to the sensor logs just in case-"

"Sickbay to Neelix," the Doctor's voice said over Neelix's com badge.

"Yes Doctor?"

"You wanted me to let you know when Doctor Jetrel passed on. It happened just a minute ago. He was sedated, so there wasn't any pain."

Neelix sighed.

"Thank you for letting me know Doctor," he said.

"You alright Neelix?" Chakotay asked.

"I'm fine Commander," Neelix said. "Relieved, actually. He no longer has to live with the burdens he took upon himself. I can't imagine what I would feel if it had been me who built a weapon of mass destruction."

Janeway stood up, walked around her desk, and put her hands on Neelix's shoulders.

"We'll be at Talax soon. Let's get started on our plan," she said.

"Yes, Captain," Neelix said. "And thank you again for taking this trip. I know it adds time to your journey home."

"A week, tops," Janeway said. "For the chance to save lives? I'd say it's worth it."

* * *

"Approaching Talaxian home system, Captain," Tom Paris said.

"This is it, the moment of truth," Captain Janeway said. She looked at Neelix, who sat on the opposite side of her from Chakotay. "Are you ready?"

"As I'll ever be Captain," Neelix said.

_I hope this works_ , Janeway thought. "Any Talaxian ships approaching?" she said.

"Negative," Harry Kim said. "We're being scanned, but only passively. Either they know who we are and don't see us a threat, or they're trying to lay low and hope we don't notice them."

"Well, no need to drag this out," Janeway said. "Send a subspace message to the homeworld. Let them know we have something for them."

"Aye captain," Harry said.

Several minutes later, the Talaxian homeworld finally responded.

"Greetings Captain Janeway," the Talaxian male whose face now filled the viewscreen said.

"I see you've heard of us then," Janeway said.

"I have," the Talaxian said. "I am Makovi, head of the Talaxian Homes System Defense Force. May I ask what brings you here Captain? Based on what we've heard, Talax is a sizable detour away from your journey to the other side of the galaxy."

Janeway told the Talaxian official the story, or rather the version of it that Chakotay and Neelix had come up with, of _Voyager_ finding Jetrel's ship and the choice to bring the metreon inoculation to the Talaxian people directly.

"You still have Jetrel's body?" Makovi asked, giving no sign that he even registered the information about the inoculation and the possibilities that it represented. Janeway had a feeling that this was not going to be as easy as she'd hoped. Neelix had warned her that the Talaxian government could be a problem, but part of her wanted to believe that her morale officer was just being pessimistic.

"Yes," Janeway said. "Along with his research. Our own Doctor has already tested the-"

"Turn his body over to us," Makovi said, "and the deserter known as Neelix, and be on your way Captain." Makovi had said it so matter of factly that Janeway almost didn't pick up on it.

"I imagine that Doctor Jetrel's family would prefer I not do the former," Janeway said, lying as she did not actually know what Haakonian customs regarding the dead were, "and I'm not willing to do the latter either as Mister Neelix is a member of my crew now and as such under my protection."

"I do not care about a war criminal's kin Captain," Makovi said, speaking as flat and emotionless as a Borg. "And your Talaxian crew member is a criminal who betrayed his people during a time of war."

"Look," Janeway said, "we came all this way to deliver medical aid to your people. I am not interested in starting a fight over one conscientious objector."  
Makovi finally showed an emotion, and Janeway did not like how it looked on the man. He laughed, and his grin resembled that of serial murderers that Janeway had read about in the past.

"Conscientious objector? Is that the Federation phrase for 'traitor?'"

Neelix had been quiet up to this point, but he was no suddenly standing right at Janeway's side.

"It means I had every right to refuse to kill for a cause I didn't believe in," Neelix said. "Or did you just forget that it was our people who started that war in the first place?"

"It was necessary," Makovi said. "The Haakonians were building colonies on the border of our space. It was only a matter of time before they attacked us."

_Does he actually believe the crap he's saying or is this the party line fed to him by his superiors?_ Janeway thought.

"With what?!" Neelix shouted. "Their best warships were in their core systems, far away from us. Their colonies near our border had only rudimentary defenses."

"This is pointless," Makovi said. "Re-write history all you want Neelix. Either surrender and face trail, or you and your ship can take your alleged inoculation and leave. You have one hour. After that, warships will be dispatched to open fire on you."

Makovi cut off communication before either Janeway or Neelix could reply.

Janeway sighed.

"I'm starting to see why you prefer the company of people outside your species, Neelix," Janeway said.

"We weren't always like this captain," Neelix said. "This is new for us. My grandfather's generation never would've stood for this."

"Captain," Harry Kim said. "Sensors show a half dozen Talaxian ships headed our way. Their shields are up."

"Neelix, can those ships hurt us?" Janeway said. Neelix went over to Harry to look at his screen.

"I'm afraid so," he said. "their weapons systems have nothing on yours, but with six of them firing at once? If there were only two or three we could easily hold out, but this is probably just a first wave."

"Damn," Janeway said. "You warned me this wouldn't be easy, but I had no idea it would go this bad this fast."

"Maybe we should just leave Captain," Neelix said. "Drop the inoculation data and samples off with a trader somewhere and have them bring it to Talax. They might still ignore it but at least we'll know they have it."

Janeway shook her head.

"I'm not giving up just yet," she said. "I want ideas people."

"We've got time before those ships get here," Tom Paris said. "I say we just beam everything we've got about the metreon inoculation down to the colony and bolt."

"If we were over Talax that could work," Neelix said, "but this planet hasn't been terraformed yet. The base is heavily shielded to protect from the ice storms. We can't beam through shields, and the weather would destroy it almost immediately if we were to drop it off outside."

"Perhaps a demonstration of the inoculation's effectiveness could convince the Talaxian government to open negotiations," Tuvok said.

"Elaborate," Janeway said, wondering what her friend and tactical officer was thinking.

" _Voyager_ is faster than the approaching vessels. We could easily slip past them, enter orbit of Rinax, and proceed to beam down a landing party that has been given the metreon radiation vaccine."

"I don't know if this is up to a vote," Harry Kim said, "but if it is, I like Tuvok's idea."

"The final decision is the captain's, Ensign Kim," Tuvok said.

"Commander?" Janeway said to Chakotay, who looked like he was pondering an idea of his own. Chakotay looked at her, and shrugged.

"The down side is to that is that the Talaxians might see it as an act of war and send everything they have after us," he said. "Also, there's no guarantee that even if they see it works they still won't press the issue of us handing over Jetrel's body and Neelix."

"If it comes down to that, Commander Chakotay," Neelix said. "I'm willing to turn myself over to them. I can't ask you to endanger the ship on my account."

"That's not an option," Janeway said. "Tom, set a course for Rinax. Take us right through those attack ships. Let's show them we're not scared."

"You got it," Tom said, smiling.

* * *

Neelix had to sit down when the _Voyager_ viewscreen adjusted to show the moon of Rinax. Parts of it still looked as it did after it had been successfully terraformed years before he'd even been born, except for one massive, red, scar on the land, large enough to be seen even though _Voyager_ was not yet within transporter range.

"Neelix, are you sure you want to go down there?" Captain Janeway said.

"I have to, Captain," Neelix said. "My government is so paranoid that if they only see someone from _Voyager_ they could claim that your people are naturally immune to the metremia, or that Jetrel's inoculation only works on you, or some other nonsense."

"Fair enough," Janeway said. "but I am still sending someone down with you. That's non-negotiable."

Neelix knew better than to argue with the Captain on this. Sometimes he wondered why she let him get away with as much as she did, but this was not the time to push his luck.

"Of course," Neelix said.

"Good," Janeway said. "Since this is your first time as the lead on an away mission Mister Neelix, you need to choose your team. I don't want to rush you, but time is of the essence."

"Oh. I thought you- well, okay," Neelix said. "Well, I wish you'd told me that sooner. If it's bodyguards you want for me Captain, I think Mister Tuvok can recommend one or two security officers for me."

"Tuvok?"

"Lieutenants Ayala and Anderson can meet you in transporter room one after inoculation," Tuvok said. "Do you require any additional personnel?"

"No, no," Neelix said. "That'll be fine. Thank you, Tuvok."

Neelix headed for the turbolift. He heard the bridge crew wishing him luck and he nodded at them, but his mind was focused on the task ahead, and the very real fact that a place he had only been to in his dreams during the past fifteen years was about to under his feet for real. As large as the moon was, he still wondered what he would do if the transporter just happened to set him down somewhere he remembered from his youth.

He went to sickbay, where the two gold shirted humans were waiting.

"Ah, Mister Neelix," the Doctor said. "The Lieutenants here have already been inoculated. I only need to apply yours and you're good to go."

"Do it," neelix said. "I'll meet you in transport room one. Tell the operator to put us down at least a kilometer outside the metreon cascade ground zero. It'll be easier for my people's sensors to pick us up there; less background radiation."

"Yes sir," Ayala said. Neelix wasn't comfortable with being called sir, but he didn't protest.

He felt the hypospray press into his arm, heard the quick hiss, and the Doctor nodded, smiling.

"You're sure this will work Doctor?" Neelix said.

"Absolutely," the Doctor said. "Ma'Bor Jetrel's notes were extensive, plus I had the chance to test it on some organic matter. I asked Lieutenant Torres to beam some metreon irradiated air into a container, then I-"

"I hate to interrupt," Neelix said. "but I need to get down to Rinax. You can tell me all about it later though, when I get back. I promise."

"Good luck, Neelix," he heard Kes say. In all his nervousness about the mission he'd failed to notice that she was even in sickbay, and felt awful about having done so. She looked worried, but thankfully she did not try to talk her way onto the away team.

"Thank you sweeting," Neelix said. "I'll see you soon. If my own people don't arrest me." _Or kill me on the spot_.

"You'll make them listen," Kes said. "I know you will."

* * *

Neelix had heard the phrase "smells like death" before, but until he caught a whiff of Rinax air for the first time since he'd left to avoid being drafted to murder Haakonians, he never truly understood what it meant. He heard the two Starfleet officers with them draw their phasers, and he sighed.

"Put those away guys," he said. "There's no one alive here but us, and maybe some rad-resistant insects."

"Our orders are to protect you sir," Ayala said.

"Look," Neelix said, "if this plan doesn't work and my government still refuses to take Doctor Jetrel's work, they'll want to take me in. You need to let them. Their ships aren't as powerful as yours, but there are enough of them to overwhelm you. Don't start a war on my account. Don't fire your phasers unless it's to protect yourselves. If they try to arrest me, I'll go quietly. Understood?"

The two Starfleet officers nodded, and put their phasers away.

"Not much to do," Neelix said, looking around. "Not until my people scan us and realize that we aren't going to die of metremia. Not sure how long that will take though. I suppose we could take this time to get to know each other, since we'll be down here for awhile. I don't think I've ever really spoken to either of you all that much."

"No, sir," Anderson said, looking like small talk was the last thing she wanted. Ayala seemed more open to the idea judging from his shrug in response to what Neelix said.

"So, Lieutenant Ayala," Neelix said. "I understand you're ex-Maquis, like the Commander. If it's not too personal, I'm very curious what inspired you to do that."

"I'm not sure what I can tell you about the Maquis that you wouldn't have already heard from Chakotay or B'Elanna," Ayala said.

"Well, try me," Neelix said. "Even if it's stuff I already know that's better than standing around a dead colony in cold silence, don't you think?"

"Good point," Ayala said.

* * *

"What's taking them so damn long?" Janeway said. The Talaxian ships that they had flown past to get to Rinax had already caught up to them, plus several more warships had come to join them. They had hailed her of course, and she told them the truth; that they had beamed an away team down to Rinax as a demonstration that the metreon inoculation worked. The threats of opening fire on _Voyager_ had stopped, but so had any communication with the Talaxians altogether, and that had her worried.

"Are their weapons locked on to us?" Chakotay asked.

"Negative," Tuvok said, "but they do remain at full power."

Janeway finally gave up on pacing the bridge as she'd been doing for the past several minutes and finally sat down. "Status of the away team, Harry?"

"No changes, Captain," Harry said. 'They haven't moved from the plateau we beamed them to."

"I suppose the good news is if they still really wanted Neelix taken prisoner they'd have tried to grab him by now," Chakotay said.

"Doubtful," Tuvok said. "The Talaxian ships lack transporter technology. They would need to go down to Rinax, which they would not want to do without the inoculation."

"They could have hazmats suits," Tom said.

"This is all just speculation at this point," Janeway said. "What we do know is that for whatever reason, either to annoy us or because they haven't made a decision about how to go forward yet, they're making us wait.

"If we weren't surrounded I'd just give the order to lower the shield, beam our people back, then get the hell out of here," Janeway added, putting her face in her hands in frustration.

"Captain," Harry said, "we're receiving a hail from Makovi. He's on one of the ships that joined the fleet surrounding us."

"Took long enough," Janeway said, standing up and straightening her uniform. "On screen."

"Well Captain," Makovi said. "I must admit to being impressed with your work. The inoculation seems to have worked after all. We've done detailed scans on your team, and even without protective gear they are free of any metreon contamination. You'll have to destroy their uniforms to be safe, but your work for us is greatly appreciated."

"I think Doctor Jet-"

"I said," Makovi said forcefully, "your work is greatly appreciated, thank you for offering your research data and samples to us. As for Mister Neelix, we've decided not to press the issue. Your granting of asylum to him will be accepted, on the condition that he never be seen on any Talaxian controlled colony, ship, or station for the rest of his life. Good day, Captain." The signal cut off.

There was a moment of silence on the bridge that felt longer than it actually was.

"Captain," Harry said, "all but two of the Talaxian ships have broken off. The rest are taking up escort positions on either side of us."

"I guess that's that then," Chakotay said. "I don't like taking credit for another man's work, but I suppose it's better than the alternative in this case."

"Neelix won't be happy," Tom said. Janeway agreed with him, but decided that there was little she could do without escalating the situation. She had wanted the Talaxian government to accept Jetrel's work as much as Neelix did, and as much as the late doctor himself. At the same time though…

"A win's a win I suppose," Janeway said. "At least we didn't end up having to shoot any of them. Harry, get our people back using standard de-con protocols. Have the equipment they took with them sterilized or destroyed."

"Got it," Harry said.

* * *

As soon as Neelix was cleared by the Doctor to leave sickbay, he headed straight for the bridge. Neither the Doctor nor Kes would fill him on the details of how things went with the Talaxian government, but he felt hopeful. He wondered what Captain Janeway had said to them that convinced them to not only allow him to return to _Voyager_ unharmed, but to take Jetrel's work and use it to benefit his people. This had not been explicitly said by the Doctor or Kes of course, but Neelix had noticed that everything that had been in sickbay regarding the metreon inoculation was gone; almost certainly having been given to the Talaxians.

He stepped onto the bridge smiling, but it quickly faded when he saw that no one else was. Janeway and Chakotay turned to look at him.

"Neelix," Janeway said. "Follow me, I'll fill you in on what happened in my ready room."

"They're not going to tell the truth about who made the inoculation are they?" Neelix said.

"I'm afraid so," Janeway said. "Officially they're giving the _Voyager_ crew the credit for developing the treatment. I know it's not what you wanted, what any of us wanted, but Makovi didn't leave us any room for negotiation."

Neelix sighed, regretting that he'd allowed himself to feel any sense of optimism when it came to the people in charge of his homeworld.

"You okay Neelix?" Chakotay said. "If you need to talk to someone-"

"If you don't mind," Neelix said softly, "I'd just let to get back to my kitchen."

"Of course," Janeway said.

Neelix stepped back into the turbolift, told it to take him to deck 2, which only took a few seconds, and immediately went to work preparing for the ship's unofficial lunch hour. He would talk about it, like Chakotay had suggested. Just not yet. For now he just wanted to think about anything other than Talaxians, corrupt governments, and radiation.

The End


End file.
